BREAK UP LE...!

its all a lie....!i don't believe it...i really cannot believe it that our relationship has just ended like tat...all she say is want to be closer to God and must break up with me...she did that to all the ex boyfriends and she still cannot think of a better reason... she just so irresponsible..no beginning no end just pop up and say no feelings...few days ago can say i love you and cannot lose you and i don't want break up and few days later lets break up because i want to be closer to God...so so so wu qing de la...all about herself and herself..she did not think about me at all...she can say i love you 3-days ago and say break up now...!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@ what is that all about...so crazy...she made me lost all faith and trust in few months...all because of her o'levels...she said she wanted time to study so i let her study...the next thing i hear is she's going out with her tutor to various places to study and play...PLAY????? OMG...then of course i made comments on it...and she did not like it...then i said i don't want to listen to anything about her tutor and her...because she really has alot to say...she has talks about the car and how handsome he is and even his dog...! hai...i say wait for her o's to finish then can settle everything then can don't see the tutor anymore...but after o's she was just too focus on the activities she has...she tells me all the stuffs she wants to do..and i told her everything needs money...do you have money? then she say she dunno...then i say okay noR...what you want you do loR...then she has so many activities until see cannot meet me...OMG...when meet only just kiss kiss hug hug...like procedures and no feelings..so i told her I'm losing trust and faith to her...then i told her she do everything like no feelings just do only...then she flare up..! what sia...! after that i ask her to do something about it if she wants to maintain this relationship..she did not cared about it...and she told david...and since then, she told everything to david...i don't know is it everything la, but i know david know more things than me..then i ask her tat why david know more things and spent more time with him than me? she said just talking only...she says give her one week to think about it? then i say why need one week? if you want to break then break la...don't make me suffer for one week...she didn't care anyway...she just thought of herself and say i don't give her time and i don't understand her...then throughout the whole week she just goes out with her friends and hack care me loR...just call me in the night when she wants to sleep...just call me and say i want to sleep le...thats all...mmuack mmmauckk and goodnight...thats all...then before was chatting with david...online or on the phone is all david...so how can you ask me not to anyhow think? then i say i lost faith and trust le what...then today came and i say you always want to sleep le then call me? then she say i find fault...then break off and tells me she wants to be closer to God again...I am not happy with the answer because you can be close to God even with me around what? then she say she has no feelings for me le...then she says she didn't lie to me then say she break up with me but still loves me?what's up with tat?i totally cannot believe what she is saying...why does it sound so nice in the beginning and ends up like shit?she says she wants to call me tmR?call me for what? i lost everything, lost all faith all trust al love...?? i love her but she is making me hate her...she just say break up just like tat...3-days ago love me and now no feelings?i just dunno what she wants and why is she lying to me even when she is explaining...is she totally full of lies?she lies to me who knows how many times...when i trusted her, everything seems so good...but when i lose faith and trust then like she has a lot of things hiding from me...and CONFIRM david know more then me...who is david to her? why is she talking more to David then me? if david reads this i don't want you to explain to me...i don't need it...and all this ends our band too...our band sucked to the core la...not training not jamming not doing anything about it,,,at least we do something about it...not interested then dun form it...don't agree on forming it and do nothing about it...its like the same la...i put effort in it but yet no one is doing anything, and deciding which jamming place to go needs 3 to 4 months and until now we haven't go anywhere to jam yet...just say only...sorry la...just have too many to blog about...my life is in a mess now because she destroyed everything...like i done no wrong and she just broke it all up...aghhhh!!!! so )(%$#$%^&*(...frustrated now...cannot sleep now....don't know what to do...watch tv till morning loR...hai...so bored..she enjoyed herself everyday and leave me at home do nothing and wait for her?wait from preparing o levels to now doing nothing still waiting...she doesn't even care...feeling like shit now...hai...lost stamina in talking le...see what happens to me..i still have to live...hai...all of u all thinks we are a joke right...looks so loving few days ago and now break up...haha...i dunno...she ended it...i was in shock now still why she say end then end de...like not hurt, like no feelings at all....thats why i say she really very wu qing...haiya...sorry for the long blog.......................=) God won't lie to me...lucky God dun lie...if not i'll die...i believe God has his way to my life...i believe...totally believe..AMEN...! seeya...