sick of the world...

sick of everything around..everyone around me...looks like this world isn't that loving anymore..why do i wanna serve God when everything you have in the end is just disappointment and disgusting people trying to backstab each other..why would i wanna be so anxious to be in the presence of God when God's people are also not like what they should be..not that i like the life i have in LASALLE-SIA, but the life in church are not that amazing either..people smoke in schooL, use vulgar language..you dun see that in church, but u see people disappoint people, lie to each other..just that they seem so great but actually are hypocrites..why is it becoming like that..why do i serve to much for Christ and i'm just someone who tends the children's church..why am i in church for so long and i'm not even a member..so why would i wanna stay in church then? why can't i get back to the life i had before..with nothing to worry for..i'm so lost and everyone around me just think i'm okay and nothing is gonna happen to me because i'm always smiling..actually it does hurt when i knew she was attached again..but what can i do? its the same if i smile and i frown..why not smile and let everyone know i'm okay..hypocrite i am..